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For the past year, I have had a recurring assignment in Norway. Norway, Maine that is…. Norway is a small town about one hour northwest of Portland. It’s nestled in between other European treasures like Poland and South Paris. The people here are genuine and inviting. Last July was my first time spending any time in the state of Maine. I was promised that the summer would lovely and that it would be beautiful in the fall. A promise fulfilled.
My first impression of the practice here was that everyone liked their job and liked their co-workers. Now remember, one of the benefits of locums is that we often get to stay outside of the office politics and personality dynamics. Nevertheless, in the year I’ve been here, I continue to feel the same positivity I felt on my first day. I imagine some of that cohesiveness is due to the longstanding leadership of the department. The practice is busy but works to provide the ever elusive work/life balance for all the employees. Everyone seems just as happy in their home life as they do in their work life. The people here seem to be living their best lives.
One such example is Carolyn Costanzi. Dr. Costanzi is a compassionate, no nonsense Ob/Gyn, wife, mother and rock star! She knows all her patients and their families by name, gives straightforward and honest care, loves to hike, knit and sing! The Cobblestones formed in 2015 and have been playing together across Southern Maine ever since. She is the vocalist for this band composed of a guitarist, bassist and occasional pianist. As physicians, we often wonder how we can accommodate our interests outside of medicine when our careers tend to consume all of our time and then some. Today, we’re going to find out how Dr. Costanzi makes it work.
- Tell us about yourself.
I met my husband, Carl Costanzi, while working as a lab tech. He was completing a PhD in biochemistry at Hahnemann University (now Drexel). We had two children together (Nick, during my first year of med school…oops and Daniel, during my second year of residency). Carl has a son from his first marriage and so I am also a stepmom to a third son, Ben. I completed my medical training in the Philadelphia suburb of Abington, PA and stayed there for over a decade as an attending. I really wanted to return to New England and so my whole family moved here in 2004. I searched for a rural practice with good quality of life and Norway, Maine was everything I wanted. My husband graciously gave up his career as a researcher at University of PA to start a new life in rural New England. He is a native Pennsylvanian, so this was a huge change for him. He loves Maine now and neither of us can ever imagine leaving.
- When did your interest in music start?
I grew up in rural Massachusetts in a big family. The focus of our family was on academic excellence and not so much the arts. Music was a “hobby” that took a back seat to athletic and academic success, so my love for music and singing was confined to school projects and community theatre. I actually didn’t make the try-outs for chorus in the third grade because I wasn’t a soprano…when I tried out the following year they felt bad for me and let me in. I sang with the boys frequently and took boy’s parts in musicals! Music took a huge backseat from college until about six years ago. Suffice it to say that’s a LONG time! I completed college, medical school, residency all while raising a family, and that left no spare time for outside interests like music. I have always been appreciative of music and as a family we valued going to musical events, listening to music at home and nurturing our sons’ desires to learn instruments.
- Please describe your band and its members.
Over the past few years I would attend open mic events in the Norway area with friends and sing from time to time. Very casual and nothing too formal. I met Mike Plourde (my guitarist and co-founder of The Cobblestones) in 2015 at an open mic at the former Tucker’s Pub in Norway. We both just happened to be there to listen to music and to play a little. Mike has been a musician since childhood and has played from time to time in various bands. He spoke to me at the open mic after I sang with a friend and after he performed solo. We started communicating via e-mail and that was the beginning of our music collaboration. We just seem to have voices that blend well, we like the same music, we are both perfectionists and he is an amazing guitarist. We thought we would just mess around and go to the occasional open mic, but we started getting asked to play and things just took off from there. We now have a keyboardist (Danielle Tran, a pediatrician), a bass player (Ken Lloyd) and a drummer (Mark Plourde). We all have “day jobs” but somehow find a way to squeeze in second careers in music. Probably because it’s addicting and keeps us sane! I never thought I would actually form a band and get paid to do something I love so much. It’s like a dream come true! We have started writing original music, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. I write the lyrics which is right up my alley since I love poetry. We also made a demo CD together at a recording studio in 2016. CHECK another thing off my bucket list!
- How do you balance your medical career, family and your commitment to music?
My children are grown and my nest is almost empty. I have no little ones to cook for (most of the time), and my husband and I are free to pursue our own interests now that the boys are grown men. I can selfishly use all my spare time pursuing music, and I do it without guilt; I have earned this opportunity. I practice with the whole band once a week and try to sing almost every day on my own for an hour or two. We play gigs two-three times a month and most weekends. I also manage the band financially and book most of our gigs, so I spend a lot of my spare time on these tasks, which I do with pleasure.
Singing is something I can do into very old age. Music brings such happiness to folks’ lives and lucky me if I can be a small piece of that happiness. I plan to be 100 years old and singing to all my peers in the nursing home.
- What advice do you have to other physicians who struggle to maintain interests outside of medicine?
I was not great at balancing when my children were young, especially because I chose the specialty of OB/GYN. It is a career of chronic exhaustion, which makes it not for the faint of heart. My husband is incredibly supportive and we have always co-parented equally and without any gender lines. I have had to learn the importance of taking whatever time I can for myself in order to stay healthy and to protect myself from the stress of medicine. I truly endorse that scheduling time for yourself has to be of the same priority as taking the kids to doctor’s appointments, cooking meals and caring for patients. If we as physicians, we constantly put ourselves at the bottom of the list of priorities, we suffer. I have also learned to say “no”. No to family stresses, excessive work-loads and social obligations that are more than I can handle without compromising my health and well-being. It took me years to decline work or tasks that I thought I would be judged for not doing: once I got past that guilt of disappointing someone, I felt pounds lighter.
This is my advice…take care to place yourself occasionally at the top of your to-do list. Eat healthy and go after your outside interests. Do not let medicine consume you. Let it be one part of who you are.
https://www.thecobblestones.net/
